Avoiding the hard Talk?

Ms. Himani Rawal
Jun 17, 2025
3 min read

What It’s Called

Avoidance Coping or Escape Coping

Experiential Avoidance

A form of defense mechanism means distraction via busyness

Chronic Flight Response or Busyness Addiction - informal/coined terms

Psychology of mental health starts knowing what's wrong with us.

Constantly staying busy to avoid uncomfortable feelings is known in psychology as a form of avoidance coping, sometimes called experiential avoidance. It’s an unconscious strategy to dodge confronting difficult emotions, thoughts, or memories.

Keeping yourself busy to avoid internal discomfort is a classic example of avoidance not a sign of productivity, but a coping strategy that hijacks attention and blocks emotional growth. Recognizing this is the first step toward balance and healthier emotional processing.

Understanding Avoidance Coping & Experiential Avoidance

Avoidance Coping involves staying busy or distracting oneself to dodge uncomfortable emotions, thoughts, or memories. It may feel helpful short-term, but often increases stress and worsens emotional distress over time.
Experiential Avoidance goes deeper: an ongoing struggle to avoid internal experiences even benign ones which paradoxically makes them more intense.

Studies show that experiential avoidance isn’t just an avoidance tactic, it’s intertwined with emotional coping strategies and independently predicts psychological distress.

I have been there..

I have been trying to dodge the bullet for many years. Not in awareness but without even knowing i was avoiding the real talks inside me. In 2020 a big change cam ein our lives so did in my life, all of me started coming out one by one, i had no work to avoid it with. Everyone went through alot in that time. Having a desire to be busy all the time is not everytime healthy. It can be escaping mechanism from the real talk you don't wish to have. Always prioritizing work because that wouldn't involve feelings, you facing your emotions. Avoidance is a type of copying mechanism but it becomes unhealthy when it's done for too long.

Daily life helpful tricks

Effective avoidance-reduction strategies you can integrate into daily life, backed by psychological research and proven techniques, and my personal experience.

Journaling emotions and noting when you switch tasks to escape the discomfort. Keeping a thought Journal really helped me catch my thoughts like a catcher :p
Consistency across repeated exposures strengthens coping resilience. Exposure really helped me take the voice out, where i wanted to hold back and where not. Gradual exposure to the situations this may be done with the help of someone you trust with your secrets.
Notice thoughts like “I can’t do this” as just passing ideas, not truths. I built present moment awareness to observe discomfort without reacting with the help of meditating visualising the discomfort and conversations beforehand. I know it seems like alot of work, but its worth the time of your life.
External accountability makes you more likely to follow through. Share your small victories with someone you trust and will keep your secret till you are ready to share with everyone. Emotional support reduces isolation and encourages active coping than passively letting it all consume you.
Challenge negative thoughts. Replace your negative automatic thoughts with something you can do in this moment. Reframe irrational beliefs like “I can’t handle this” → “I can start small and learn”.
For persistent avoidance that impacts life, use therapy (e.g., CBT, ACT, EMDR) offers structured support. I did take support. Therapy made me see my thoughts which i was believing always and trusting the wrong ones. When you have someone who knows all this brain stuff, you automatically dont trust every thought flashes by you.

Recommended Books

The Worry Trap by Chad LeJeune (2007)
Focuses on breaking free from chronic worry through ACT techniques like labeling thoughts, letting go, mindfulness, and values-based living en.wikipedia.org +15en.wikipedia.org +15goodreads.com +15.
Stop Avoiding Stuff by Matthew S. Boone, Jennifer Gregg & Lisa CoyneTeen-friendly ACT guide teaching microskills for facing fears, learning emotional willingness, and moving past avoidance behaviors amazon.in +2goodreads.com +2reddit.com +2.
Anxiety and Avoidance by Michael Tompkins (2013)
Combines CBT and mindfulness to help you face fears instead of evading them. It includes practical exercises and tools for ongoing exposure work goodreads.com +1kobo.com +1.
Overcoming Avoidance Workbook by Daniel F. Gros Transdiagnostic CBT workbook filled with guided exercises. It addresses four types of avoidance (situational, somatic, thought, emotional) and emphasizes strategic exposure harperclinicalpsychology.com +5goodreads.com +5amazon.sg +5.
Emotion Efficacy Therapy by Matthew McKay & Aprilia WestFor clinicians or those exploring therapy models. It blends ACT, DBT, and exposure practices to reduce experiential avoidance and build emotional resilience books.google.com.

Avoidance brings temporary relief but fosters a cycle of dependency on avoidance, leading to increased distress and less meaningful action. Experiential avoidance is at the root of many emotional disorders; addressing it improves mental health. Techniques like CBT exposure and ACT mindfulness and values-based action promote resilience and engagement with life.

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